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EU Declares Baseball "Our new National Sport"
Published on October 9, 2009 By Nitro Cruiser In Humor

NEW YORK (APU) - In a surprise move today the MLB commission issued a statement that this years pennant race is canceled and the Series winner would be naned. Early this morning in a press conference, baseball commissioner, Bud Selig announced the cancellation of the remaining games and declared Obama the World Series champion. "I know he is just one man, without a team", the commissioner said, "but he has done so much for the game! Did you see that pitch he threw out at the All Star game in July? Simply wonderful!"

Obama's 2009 MLB All-Star Pitch by

Some players weighed in on the controversy. The Yankee's own A Rod praised the move. "He (Obama) is an inspiration to us all" the slugger explained. "His election to the Senate convince me to quit steroid use, it's only right that he should win the series now that he is the greatest man on earth".

Fans had mixed reactions. "He throws like a girl". said one man, shortly before being escorted away by secret servicemen. A woman exclaimed, "Their is no more deserving person on the face of the planet. What is the World Series"?

In a related story, The EU's rotating President said, "We usually despise anything American, but this US president is one of us, so now a measure is before the counsel to adapt this base balls as the sport of choice for all of Europe". The International Football (soccer) community has not commented at this time.

UN General Secretary, Ban Ki-moon, called an emergency meeting shortly after the announcement. "Forget food and medical supplies", said an unidentified aid speaking of Ki-moon's remarks, "We need more baseballs, bats, and mitts. Their are too many poor children living in the world today without this vital equipment".

President Obama could not be reached for comment, however White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, did say, "The President is surprised and humbled by the win." President Obama is widely known to be a Chicago White Sox fan. The President is expected to comment later.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi immediately proposed a bill to change the popular "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" song to "Take Obama Out of Term Limits". Votes were split along party lines. The National Teachers Union issued a statement that they will change the song in all public schools regardless of the final out come of the impending Sanate vote.

Reports of Obama's nomination for Super Bowl and Stanley Cup champion have not yet been confirmed but it is still early.   


on Oct 09, 2009

Am I pushing the boundaries of "hope" and "change"?

on Oct 11, 2009

Guess so.